What is your relationship with God like?
Is it based on what He can do for you? Do your prayers tend to be filled with requests?
Then when you don’t receive those requests, do you lash out at God, turn away from Him, and commit to figuring it out on your own and going your own way?
I have a confession to make.
That was me.
I had a distorted view of God, thanks in part to many false doctrines preaching prosperity. I fell under their spell.
I thought, of course, God would bless me with prosperity. I just had to ask in the right way. I had to be specific and precise, as if God didn’t already know what I desired. And, I had to take action with faith.
When I didn’t experience a shift in my life, I was angry at God. How can you love someone and not provide for them? You even say in the bible that what father gives his child a stone when he asks for bread?
My conclusion was that God didn’t love me. 😔
And, that is exactly what the enemy wants – to put a wedge between me and God and to introduce doubt in my mind about who God is.
I turned away from God and to my own resources and abilities. I thought I just had to work more, harder, follow a ‘provable’ formula or strategy and then I’d be set.
Only it didn’t work as I had hoped.
It would work for a while and then it would stop working. It was a rollercoaster of emotions.
I felt stuck. 🤨
The ways of the world weren’t working for me yet I also felt distant from God and wasn’t sure He really supported me.
It took some serious undoing – of me, of who I thought God was, and of my beliefs.
As I sought a new way, I discovered that I had been living in a place of victimhood and entitlement. Not pretty. I somehow believed the world and God were against me and that somehow the world and God owed me something. Hello pride. 😳
I was ashamed and embarrassed. How had I let this happen?
I rooted out all the lies that had perpetuated this way of thinking and living. I went before God and asked for forgiveness and committed to turning away from my old self and becoming the woman He created me to be.
It was a huge awakening for me. ☀️
My prayers began to change from Please, God, to Praise God.
On walks, I would repeat thank you, God, over and over in my mind.
My twice daily gratitude lists began to include the things I didn’t like, the painful experiences, and the disappointments.
I began to feel filled up even though not much had changed in my life.
I stopped chasing some elusive form of external validation and instead sought God.
I was learning to be content in all circumstances.
The more I sought Him, the more loved I felt, and the freer I was from everything I had placed in the way of my happiness.
And, little miracles started to arrive in the form of coins in the street, unexpected checks in the mail, and several “out of the blue” gift cards.
It’s funny because I had been so set on provision having to look a certain way that I wasn’t open to these amazing gifts before. Once I came into acceptance, true acceptance, I became receptive to God’s love showing up in all kinds of surprising and delightful ways.
What I began to realize is God’s grace is enough. ❤️
He doesn’t “owe” me anything because He has already given me everything. I was just so focused on what I didn’t have that I couldn’t appreciate all I did have.
When you live in lack, there is no room for anything to come in because everything in you emanates it’s never enough.
When you live in a state of security and faith, blessing everything – the good and the bad – you open yourself to even more blessings – precisely because you no longer ‘need’ them.
There is no greater freedom than that – freedom from anxiety, doubt, stress, comparison, and societal pressures.
You’re left with love which is all you ever really wanted and all you truly need. ❤️
Are you ready to begin your Bold Heart Adventure to free yourself from all the false beliefs that have kept you stuck chasing something outside of you that never seems to satisfy you and, crave clarity on what WILL work for you and the confidence and courage to invite it in, trusting you are supported on your unique, divine path? I invite you to send me a message and we can explore my 60-day 1:1 Bold Heart Adventure mentorship to see if it’s a good fit. If so, we can begin our adventure right away.