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Kori Gouge

Core Connection Human Performance Coach

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Stories (Blog)

From shy insecure girl to confident bold woman performing on stage

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I used to be shy. I was the type of person who preferred being behind the scenes to center stage.

My stepdad nicknamed me ‘mouse’ because I was so quiet and always seemed to be hiding. 

I struggled with low self-esteem and confidence. I was self-conscious and worried about what others thought of me.

At various periods throughout my life, I have thought I was fat, ugly, stupid, and overall not good enough. 

Instead of buying into these lies, I did the work to uncover the truth.

It wasn’t easy. It was often uncomfortable and many times I wanted to throw in the towel and go back to my old ways. Yet, I knew there had to be something greater than living in such a state of insecurity. I knew I wanted to be free to be all of me no matter who I was around, what I was wearing, what I looked like, or what I was doing. 

I didn’t want to live constantly comparing myself to others, criticizing myself, holding myself back, and feeling down about myself and my life.

I knew, somewhere deep inside, that if I had created all this struggle, I had to be able to create its opposite – a feeling of freedom, security, and ease. 

Step by step, day by day, I did the work to shift my beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

I went on to overcome a decade-long battle with eating disorders, earn my Master’s degree, live and work outside the US for several years, travel abroad solo for multiple months, perform as a burlesque dancer, improv actor, and spoken word poet, become a university professor, community trainer and workshop facilitator, and communication and self-expression coach.

Being center stage no longer scares me. What people think of me no longer has power over me. 

I have learned that what matters is what I think of me and how I treat me. I get to choose my state of being in every moment – it no longer fluctuates based on the situation or the people I’m around. This also means I choose situations and people who elevate me both by challenging me to think differently and by loving me and all my imperfections without the need to change me. 

This is huge. It has given me a freedom like no other and a new kind of security. It has given me me back.

If this is speaking to you, I invite you to schedule a call with me.If you are tired of the comparison game, done going through the motions, and over being so hard on yourself, join me to learn a new way to be which will set you absolutely free.

Overcoming You to Embody the True YOU

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You often hear about the need to overcome something, right?

You need to overcome the loss of a job, a heartbreak, a disappointment, grief over the loss of a loved one, various forms of addictions, codependency, and the list goes on.

I have discovered that it isn’t the thing, the situation, or the person we have to overcome. It isn’t the job, the ex-partner, the overeating, excessive drinking, depression, anxiety, or sense of despair that we need to get over, it is ourselves.

Stay with me here.

It is our own attachment to those things, situations, and people that is making us miserable. It is our attachment to the idea it was “supposed” to be different – that somehow we could control how everything turned out – that feeds our discontent. It is our attachment to what we are making it all mean that is causing us the most pain. 

When my best dog died, he was my sole companion. I was living alone in a country that wasn’t my own. I didn’t have any close friends or family there with me, just my pup. When he died suddenly, I was devastated. This is normal. Grief is normal. It was the weeks that followed that stirred up the darkness.

You see, in my mind, my pup was “supposed” to come back home to the US with me. I had brought him with me. I was responsible for him, thus it was my fault he died. I should’ve played God somehow in some way to have prevented his death. I made it mean I was irresponsible. I was guilty. I was a bad person. I was stupid for bringing him with me in the first place.

So what did I do to deal with all the ugliness that I was creating? I drank. I told myself it was ok because it was wine. It wasn’t like I was drinking the hard stuff. (oh lovely excuses!)

It didn’t make it better, of course. I felt even worse. I had started down a dark path, one of self-hatred, distrust, and depression. 

Why? It wasn’t the loss. It was what I made the loss mean about me. It was me being angry that life hadn’t turned out according to MY plans. And, it was me who had placed a lot of my happiness outside of me. 

It is much easier to be upset about a loss than it is to deal with all the baggage the loss brings up. So we often stay on the surface. We indulge in self-pity and become a bit hardened on the inside.

What if this rupture in our identity and sense of self that was created by this loss was not to take us into the depths of despair but to let more light in to all the broken bits inside of us? 

Not many will choose this path as it isn’t easy. But, then again, how easy is it to live with the burden of guilt and shame for the rest of your life? That ain’t no cakewalk, my friend. 

The darkness may frighten us but is often in our darkest moments that we begin to see the light we had been hiding all along. 

Anytime we choose to ignore or suppress our uncomfortable emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from them and become a more whole soul.

If you are wrestling with your own inner gremlins, telling you just to lose the weight already, get over the ex for crying out loud, get out of debt now, write the damn book, get to the gym regularly, give up the drink, cut back on sugar, have that challenging conversation, cut back on social media or tv, reduce your spending, get a new job, or change your diet for the love of God, it’s not about the actual thing. 

It’s about letting go of all those old stories about who you are, who you were meant to be, and how life was meant to turn out and allowing the true you to emerge. The life the true you creates will blow all that other stuff out of the water. And you’ll wonder why you held on to it all for so long in the first place. 

Are you ready to let go of that thing that is holding you back – your addiction or distraction of choice – to make way for you to embody the true you?

What you will discover and experience is a new level of emotional stability, inner security, calm confidence, powerful presence, true freedom, and joy. 

Ain’t no wine, chocolate, job, or person that can give you that.

http://bit.ly/Activate_You


Answering the call depends on who’s calling.

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At 5:30am this morning, I leaped out of bed to respond to a call for help. My pup, Merli, was sick. When I heard her, even though I was still half asleep, I sprung into motion. I ran for her kennel to get her out. I held her and pet her to make sure she was ok. I took her outside, gave her some food and then we went on a walk. 

I didn’t yell at her for waking me up. I didn’t scold her for dirtying her bed. I didn’t begrudge her for messing up my morning routine. I was kind, attentive, and loving. 

Would we do the same for ourselves when we felt off? 

We beat ourselves up for not getting up earlier. We scold ourselves for not getting more done during the day. We hold on to the impact of past actions in influencing our productivity. In short, we are very rarely kind, attentive, and loving to ourselves. We more quickly attack and criticize than seek to understand and learn. 

Why do we continue to think abuse leads to change when all evidence points to the opposite?

What would be possible for you if you gave yourself the attention you’re often seeking from others?

What would happen if you stopped attacking yourself and working against yourself and started working FOR you? 

Imagine what you would discover if you were curious with your missteps, anxiety, or stuckness instead of critical. 

Where would that new awareness lead you? What would that make available to you? 

Here is a glimpse into some of the results I’ve had from doing this powerful inner work:

  • Overcoming body hatred and shame, anorexia and bulimia, compulsive eating and obsessive exercise. I now eat with awareness, pleasure, and zero guilt. I exercise in ways that fill me up instead of break me down. I am at peace with and appreciative of my body.
  • Leaving a job that was no longer fulfilling and moving alone outside the US to live and work. I got out of the spiral of “what I am meant to do with my life” and did it – I earned my coaching certification and began my mission of guiding others back to their true, highest selves and their soul work.

The best part is I trust myself, respect my journey, and honor my process of continual transformation. 

Where do you want to go and who do you want to be? I’d love to be your guide for that incredible journey.

Adventure calls

Stop doing it all. Start having it all

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I was on a call with one of my clients discussing self-trust. She had lost faith in herself, had struggled for years with low self-esteem, and was now wrestling with confusion and indecision. 

It is all too easy to lose sight of WHAT you want and instead focus on all the things standing in the way of you getting it. One of the biggest barriers is the HOW.

I just don’t know how…

How do I learn to trust myself? 

How do I know what is the right decision and what is the next step to take?

How do I get out of this cycle of doubt, discouragement, and depression?

When you’ve been living, breathing, and being a certain way for so long, it is hard to see the way out of it. 

There is a good reason you have lost your way. Being caught up in why things are not working out despite doing all the “right” things leads you to question yourself. Am I on the right track? Is this the right thing for me? What am I doing wrong? 

And then it only gets worse.

The spiral into analysis paralysis begins. This is a place of inaction or misaligned action, which only perpetuates more of what you don’t want. 

It’s time to free yourself from indecision and confusion and thrive in change instead of simply surviving. 

It’s time to do something different. To shift the focus to clarifying and elevating the what while discovering and creating the how with someone who has been where you are and who learned how to trust herself, make decisions quickly and confidently, got herself out of depression, doubt, and discouragement, and changed her whole way of being from insecure, confused, and overwhelmed to clear, confident, secure, and aligned. 

This is your invitation to create the highest level you, the you who is comfortable and confident in her own skin, who speaks articulately and confidently, and who expresses herself unapologetically without feeling guilty or pushy. The you who knows with absolute conviction that what she is doing is the work of her soul, contributing greatly, receiving abundantly, living joyfully, and creating all she desires and beyond. 

 Clarity, freedom, alignment, and ascension. 

 Complete 2019 with awareness and appreciation and leap into 2020 with eyes wide open creating awesomeness.

#complete2019 #soarinto2020 #soulfulcompletion #heartfulbeginning #coreconnection

Don’t Buy Anything. Invest Wisely.

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This is your invitation to invest wisely.

Where are you investing your time and energy? This could be the work you do, the activities you engage in, and the people you interact with. 

Does it fill you up? Or does it drain you? 

If you feel drained, burned out, and run down in some area of your life, it is due to a misalignment. You are disconnected from your true source of energy – the alignment of you, your inner self,  and your higher self. 

This shows up as stress, overwhelm, confusion, low energy, job dissatisfaction, relationship struggles, body, weight, and health issues. 

All of these are signs that something is off. 

Are you willing to pay attention? Are you willing to check in instead of check out when the uncomfortable feelings surface? 

When you feel the end of the year approaching and know you want to be in a different place than you are in your career, relationship, or health, what do you do? Do you beat yourself up, criticize yourself, or numb yourself out? 

How long have you been engaging in those default behaviors? What has it gotten you? 

What would it take to complete the year in a different state of being and operating? To begin the year owning what is possible for you and already taking action on it? What would that feel like? What would your energy be like? 

You would be unstoppable. 

2020 is your year. You will bend the universe to your will instead of being bent by it. That is how powerful you are. 

This holiday, invest in you. Own your authority and take full responsibility for where you are and know you have everything you need to get where you want to go. 

I can help you with that. 

If I won the lottery…

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As I was driving home last night, I saw a billboard promoting that the Power Ball was at $90 million. I thought to myself, what would I do if I won all that money? 

I would start an education foundation so that self-awareness and emotional mastery could be taught as part of the standard curriculum in all schools, beginning in kindergarten.

If we did this kind of work early on in our development, we wouldn’t end up in jobs that drained the life out of us or relationships that were wrong for us. Nor would we adopt addictions that we use to abuse ourselves disguised as a form of self-protection. 

We wouldn’t be constantly battling ourselves. 

Instead, we’d be using that energy to create something new, advancing medicine, technology, the arts and sciences even further, solving the pressing issues of the world instead of creating new ones. 

Why? Because we would no longer be operating from a place of insecurity and fear. When you know who you are and what you’re about, and are open, curious, and ever-evolving, challenges are simply teachers and failures lessons. It is no longer about you being fundamentally flawed and worthless. Instead it’s all just another part of the adventure leading you to something greater. 

If emotional and energetic mastery were taught as part of the standard curriculum in all schools, think about all the mental health issues that would be addressed and supported more effectively as people felt safe expressing themselves.

The stress levels that would decrease as people learned what was truly in their control and took action on that and stopped the senseless worrying. The relationship conflicts that would be navigated with awareness and love instead of blame and shame. The number of lives saved from suicide, depression, mass violence, addictions, and myriad diseases as each individual knew their inherent worth and respected and loved themselves so that the need to turn against themselves or others faded away.

This isn’t a fairy tale or a pipe dream.

It is the kind of world I am creating in my own way – for myself, my clients, and my community.

Want to be a part of the movement? Join me.  http://bit.ly/Activate_You

#unapologeticself-expression #emotionalmastery #energymastery #radicalselflove #innerpower #coreconnection #dreambig