What are your default self-soothing activities?
Do they support you holistically?
I used to love nothing more than having a glass of wine at the end of a long day. It felt like a special treat. It allowed me to take the edge off of my day.
As I increased my commitment to myself, I began to ask, what is it about my day that makes me feel on edge at the end of it?
I discovered the work I was doing was not aligned with my soul and that internal conflict was creating stress and anxiety. Instead of addressing the cause, I dealt with the symptom and numbed myself out with alcohol. It doesn’t work long term.
The ache in your soul for you to be living and expressing your greatest desires and life purpose cannot be tamed by cheap substitutes.
Yes, it is scary to go after your desires but isn’t it scarier to live a life that is leading you on a path to self-destruction?
I put away the bottle and when the unease and discomfort visited me, I sat with them. I committed to being curious instead of critical of those feelings. I asked what I really needed because I knew alcohol wasn’t going to cut it. I discovered that what I was craving was my own attention, my own love and care.
Discomfort is a sign of disconnection. It is a call to come back to you, not run even further away from you. When you are willing to connect deeply with yourself, you notice your higher power is right there and has been all along. It is guiding you to your true desires, not your momentary distractions disguised as desires.
We are truly incredible beings and we have the power to heal ourselves from our misguided beliefs and misaligned actions. We must return to ourselves to do so. We must trust we have what we need to support ourselves well and sustainably. We must trust our feelings are valid and allow them to be expressed without self-criticism. We can explore the beliefs we are holding that are leading to those unpleasant feelings and choose to create new beliefs. With those new beliefs, we can take new actions.
Actions that support our growth, the realization of our desires, and the expression of our life purpose.
We can then create healthy ways to support ourselves through that growth as undesirable emotions surface to challenge our commitment.
We get to choose differently which reinforces our new beliefs which then creates new feelings.
We get to do this without the ill effects often caused by drinking – feeling hungover and foggy-headed, feeling remorseful for having said something that didn’t need to be said or having done something we regret. We can choose to make decisions with a clear head, an open heart, and take actions that demonstrate our integrity with ourselves instead of actions that demonstrate our inner conflict.
I am choosing to be more awake and aware which means alcohol no longer plays a major role in my life. I value feeling clear and energetic and alcohol often takes that away from me.
I still have a lot to learn and alcohol is just one of the many distractions used to escape ourselves. The more we commit to connecting deeply with ourselves, no matter how we feel, the more those other distractions will also begin to lose their appeal.
It comes down to asking yourself, how do you most want to experience this one life of yours?
What allows you to feel more awake, aware, and alive? Are these activities and experiences a part of your day every day?
What would it take to shift more towards connection and distance yourself more from distraction?
What would that feel like?
What would that make available to you?
How would that change your life?