On how to navigate self-doubt and transform your relationship with yourself
Yesterday I began a 40 day fast. I have done these before. In 2015, I fasted for 40 days from coffee, alcohol, sugar, and gluten.
I wanted to eliminate the things in my life that disconnected me from myself or that I used as a distraction or escape. The first week was rough. I knew giving up coffee would be challenging but I thought giving up alcohol, sugar, and gluten would make me feel better – that I would have more energy and focus. Instead, I was tired.
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I shared this with my mentor and she said, “Of course, you’re tired, you’re detoxing.”
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I hadn’t even considered that.
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Having this awareness helped me shift my perspective and keep going for the next five weeks.
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This time, I am fasting from pride, envy, greed, lust, anger, gluttony, and sloth. Yes, this is a spiritual fast to master my spirit, strengthen my relationship with God, and renew my heart.
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I noticed spiritual attacks this morning – my mind went into negativity and doubt, questioning who I am to do this work and barraging me with criticism.
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I pulled on much of what I had learned from previous fasts and inner work to bring myself back to a place of curious objectivity.
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Then I could see, oh, the testing has begun to see if I am prepared for this journey.
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It helped me remember that the inner negative voice is never for my higher good.
I can then choose to hear the truth about me and to choose to see myself as God sees me – loved, significant, and secure – and know that is my true identity.
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My work on myself and with my clients has always been on the relationship we have with ourselves – learning to connect more with our heart, to see ourselves from a higher perspective, to strip off the masks we thought we had to wear in order to feel accepted, and to rewrite our stories to reflect the truth of who we are and the work we are here to do.
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The truth is when you connect more deeply with your heart from an empowered place, what happens is honestly, priceless.