What happens when you feel frustrated and discouraged? Do you spiral down into negativity? Do you start to beat yourself up and question what’s wrong with you?
This is not uncommon. I’ve been there many a time (and I will probably be there again!) This type of cycle can become a default pattern – things don’t work out as you would have liked, you feel bad, you get down, you criticize yourself, you feel worse, and then you’re stuck in negative town. When you spin out into this type of thinking, you block out creativity. You also close yourself off from receiving guidance and support as you turn inward and try to solve it all on your own.
So what do you do?
The first thing, as always, is awareness. Notice when you start to feel down. Then, check your head. What are you telling yourself about the situation? Are you shaming yourself? Stop. Breathe. Forgive yourself. Give yourself some grace. You can recite the Ho’oponopono prayer in that moment:
“I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.” (You are saying this to yourself.)
Now, you have several options on what to do next.
If the event or situation feels too charged, it is easier at this point to leave it versus work through it. By leave it, I mean to let it go. Surrender. Ask the universe, God, your higher power, to take this burden from you. You can offer a short prayer, “I have tried to do this all on my own. I now set aside my own agenda and I let you guide the way.” Then, change your environment or activity. Go outside, put on upbeat music, call a friend. Move.
Once the event has less charge on it, you can reframe it. Ask yourself, what do I want to learn from this? What could I have done differently? What advice would I offer a friend if they came to me with this challenge? How would I offer to help them? Limit this self-inquiry to three minutes. Write down all the ideas that come to you. Take one of the ideas and start on it, no matter how small or insignificant it may feel. Even if you stop five to ten minutes after you start, START. This will get you out of your head (which is where you spiral into over-analysis) and into action (which is where you can start to make changes).
The other trick is to combine the awareness with counting down from five and then immediately choosing to think of a situation where you excelled, where you felt proud, excited, and happy. Then DO something. Take a walk, write in your journal, call someone. (Taken from Mel Robbins’ Five Second Rule.)
Awareness combined with action is key in order to change a thought pattern or habit. Once you notice your energy shifting and negativity seeping in, immediately take charge using the suggestions above. You may not be able to control the outcome of a situation but you CAN control your response to it. The more you choose to stay in a place of curiosity over criticism, the more you will be able to progress to the next level.
And, of course, trust that you are not in this alone. You do have powers beyond your comprehension that are working on your behalf. Let go, do your part, and hand the rest over.
There is strength and humility in knowing you are not meant to do it all on your own. Allow yourself to receive guidance and support. You will be led exactly where you are meant to be.
What is frustrating you right now? I encourage you to take a breath, surrender it, and shift your focus.
I’d love to hear from you. What is your biggest challenge right now? Hit reply and let me know. This is healing in telling someone else – you take some of the power away from the difficult situation when you share it.
If you want to work through your challenge and get to the next step, book your session with me today. That’s what I’m here for! Let’s get to resolution instead of resignation.
Believing in you,
Kori