Do you ever feel burned out by all the self-improvement, self-empowerment, pick yourself up by your bootstraps, and think yourself into a new reality jargon and are beginning to realize that it always leaves you feeling empty and, often, worse about yourself?
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There is a dark underbelly in the personal development world and it’s not spoken of much, if at all. It is built on a fundamentally flawed premise: that YOU are God. That all you have to do is work on your mindset and cast out your shadows and voila, you can step into a whole new world of your own creation.
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If that were true, there wouldn’t be so many people, especially people in the personal development world, who are still struggling.
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The fact that they are still struggling when they hear all they have to do is decide and believe makes them feel like something must be really wrong with them.
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I speak from experience.
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I bought into this narrative with all of my being. I wanted it to be true and when things didn’t change dramatically, I thought something was wrong with my mind. I researched how to fix the brain, changed my diet, took supplements, meditated, rewrote the past, challenged negative thoughts, and yet I found myself still wrestling with some of the same issues as before.
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I thought, ok I’m not an idiot and I am smart enough to figure this out yet that kept me hooked into the very machine that had convinced me I was broken in the first place!
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It turns out I needed a whole new way of BEING in order to change my thinking and doing, not the other way around.
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When I could SEE myself with Heart Vision instead of worldly vision, the ‘fixes’ no longer appealed to me, hence donating all my self-help books to Goodwill!
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FREEDOM!
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This was huge because I had turned into what felt like a gambling addict: I would enroll in just ONE more program, convinced THIS was the ONE that was going to make the difference and I would make an ROI on it THIS time, only to be left disappointed like the feeling a gambler gets when she places all her chips on what she think is the sure thing and then loses it all.
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I carried a lot of shame around this for a long time because I bought into the narrative that something, some strategy or program, outside of me was the answer and since it didn’t work for me, then I must be fundamentally flawed and beyond fixing.
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I am not alone in this. I have worked with and heard from many women with this same story. It breaks my heart because I know the damage this causes.
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So, how did seeing myself with Heart Vision change things for me? It brought me back to the truth: I am not God AND I need God AND, most importantly, I can TRUST God.
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I ain’t gonna lie, this wasn’t easy. I had a lot of issues with trust and I wrestled with letting go of MY way because I was afraid what would happen when I did.
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I then experienced two significant losses in my life and all illusions of being in control were ripped from my consciousness. I was angry…at life and at God…yet in the depths of my despair and grief, I had no one to cling to but God.
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When my heart wanted to close down, He kept it open. When I wanted to give up, He invited me to simply go for a walk.
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Little by little, a power inside of me that was not of me, started to put the pieces of my life back together and I found myself promoting my coaching, signing up for a dance class, booking a trip to Spain for my birthday, and being open to dating again.
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That took more than positive affirmations, thinking myself rich and well, and simply flipping a switch. I’m not that powerful. None of us are. I was prone to depression and negativity so this was God working in and through me, no question about it.
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AND, that, my friends, is what is so desperately missing from the personal development world: God. He is the King of Transformation and He will not disappoint you.