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Several people responded positively and it triggered others. One woman chose to criticize and insult me. The emotional state I was in at the time couldn’t handle it. I responded kindly but then broke down in tears and left the group.
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Recently I posted in a group about doing work I didn’t love and feeling like it took part of my soul. In one particular group, I received a lot of criticism and mean comments. This time, I laughed, knowing it wasn’t about me.
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It is what my words stirred up in them where they felt they had to attack me. I responded sharing how triggers are valuable information for our growth.
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One woman lashed out at me still. Again, it didn’t bother me. I felt compassion for her. I didn’t feel the need to leave the group or have an overly emotional response, thinking something was wrong with me because a few people didn’t agree with me.
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This is BIG for me.
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You see, I FEEL deeply. I have always been sensitive and easily affected by emotional encounters. That is still true. The difference is now I honor and appreciate that part of me. I am curious when someone attacks me instead of being defensive.
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It has made a huge difference in my relationships and in my work.
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What I see now is that the emotional rollercoaster keeps you in a disempowered place – all of these people and situations have the ability to derail you and affect your sense of self.
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What I see now is that we are here to do our work FOR the work – NOT for approval and external validation.
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The path of our work is what hones, shapes, and strengthens us. It teaches us we must do it because we love it, because we can’t not do it. We must do it with love, precisely so we can respond with love to those who would attack us.
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The words of Playwright William Gibson sum it up well:
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I learned…that success is no good and failure is worse – an old wisdom, the work must be done for itself, which in this system is the counsel to “act, but detach from the fruits of action.”
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The truth is you will be attacked, criticized, and rejected but isn’t your work worth it?