Are you in control of your money or does your money control you?

Let me tell you a story (one of many on this topic). I grew up in a single-parent home. My mom worked full time but also took on side jobs here and there for extra money. While I was never want for anything, I always felt this underlying financial tension in the house. It made me believe you had to work really hard for your money and that there was never enough. This ended up causing me to let money make my decisions.

At restaurants, I rarely ordered without weighing the cost of what I wanted. I remember one night an old friend invited me to dinner. As we were looking over the menu, he said, “Order from the left side of the menu, not the right.” I was shocked. How did he know? Did I look nervous? I was embarrassed and then I thought, how sad that I have been limiting myself for so long – that I’ve only allowed myself to order according to the low to mid-priced items and not allowed myself to order whatever I really wanted. It sounds so trivial but it demonstrated to me how I let money have power over me.

It is HUGE when you shift to choosing from your true desire. We have gotten to a place where we often don’t trust our desires – we think we’ll go off the rails, run up the credit cards, and put ourselves on the verge of bankruptcy. The problem is not our desire. The problem is our disconnection from them.

When you are truly connected to your desires, they will not put you in grave danger – physically or financially. They are there to lead you back to yourself. When we go off the rails, that is a sign we are disconnected and usually seeking distraction from some discomfort. When we pause to check in with ourselves and can listen without judgment to what comes up, we begin to honor who we are and our heart’s longings.

Pause to ask, “What do I really want? Why?” The why is the key. If I desire a fancy car and I dig deeper into why, I might start with that it is fast and fun and looks good, which if I dig deeper, might be that I desire attention. I could then explore another way besides a fancy car to get attention. Maybe I can sign up for an acting class and perform in a local theater or maybe I need to ask a friend or significant other to spend some time with me where I can feel I am getting undivided attention. There is nothing wrong with wanting a fancy car – it is more about checking in with yourself to see if that is what you truly desire or not.

It boils down to trusting ourselves and being willing to explore our desires. You never know where they may lead you.

What do you desire today? Can you allow yourself to explore that desire?

Sending you all that your heart desires,

Kori

 

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