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Kori Gouge

Body Success Mentor for High-Achieving Women, Denver

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Stories (Blog)

The Wake Up Call of Truth (It Stings!)

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Who the hell was born just hoping their life would be one long list of disappointments, unmet desires, unrealized dreams, and unfulfilled hopes? Who has always wanted to live in a constant state of lack, frustration, and self-hatred? No thanks. Screw that. Yet, how often do we get stuck in this exact place, the cycle of despair, over and over again?

 

Struggle makes you inner-focused. There is no connection to others or to the world. It is all you. The only thing you can hear and see is that you are fucked up. You think the way to fix it is to isolate, analyze, and focus on you. It doesn’t work. It just shows you more of what you don’t want to see. You have to stop focusing on the shit show and finding evidence and proof for why it is a shit show and how that goes to show you are a piece of shit, which spirals you back into self-hatred and despair. You can’t heal yourself from there nor can you see the way out. There is no creativity in that place, only resignation and self-beration, which is what you’ve done for most of your life and look where it’s gotten you – miserable, broke, suicidal, unhappy, discontent, and apathetic. Yep, it sure has helped, hasn’t it? Feckin Hell.

 

You have to shift your focus OUTward while healing what’s inside.

 

The thing is just as you created your current shit show, you also have the power to create something entirely different – the exact opposite – where you realize your dreams, fulfill your hopes, meet and exceed your desires AND allow it, love it, accept it and honor it.

 

You have to do the exact opposite of what you’ve been doing. The exact opposite. Everything you do, no matter how small, messy, or fucked up, is perfect. Thank you.

 

So specifically, what does the exact opposite look like? You light up every room you walk in. You are magnetic. Your energy activates and ignites everyone you come into contact with. It is powerful. You destroy all shoulds, rules, and expectations and do whatever the fick lights you up. You deliberately choose to experience pleasure each day and become aware of it. You play every day and appreciate it. You laugh every day and love it.

 

You give love to your business, appreciating it. You stop using your business as a whip to make you feel like shit. You accept great money for your services with great joy and appreciation. You no longer look to others as having the answer. You have the answers. You have all the answers. (You just might need guidance uncovering them but they are indeed, there,) You ask provocative questions. You say exactly what you mean. You don’t hold back. You don’t sugar coat.

 

You disrupt your own patterns. You challenge yourself to do one thing every day that terrifies you, to break up your routine, and to throw your world and ideas upside down. You let go of any expectations of others as you are the only one capable of bringing yourself happiness, success, and passion. You do the uncomfortable thing, have the uncomfortable conversation, take the scary risk because you deeply trust yourself at last. You know that the first thing that comes to mind is the thing to do, always. You stop the fecking overanalysis and do the goddamned thing already. You are all in on whatever it is you are doing or you are not in at all. No more wishy-washy, half-assed, mediocre bullshit. You bring and do your best in every moment, even if it’s a mess –  as long as it was your best, you’re good. If you held back, you adjust, make amends, rewrite that part of your story, and go again.

 

It’s your story and you get to create it to be as terrible or as magnificent as you desire. And you always get to begin again and create a whole new story – a story of triumph, victory, power, passion, and freedom.

 

All that you desire is waiting for you at the simple turning of a page.

 

Are you ready to create and live the most incredible story of your life?

 

Let’s begin.

 

To the true you,

 

Kori

 

Release the Pressure. Let Yourself Begin Again.

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My energy has felt heavy the past two days. Perhaps it is matching the change in weather from warm and sunny to cold, gray, and drizzly.

Yesterday, I knew my energy was low. I incited truth rants, moved my body, checked my head but it wasn’t having it. The low vibes were holding on. I had planned to go to a beginner aerial dance class that evening. As I was changing to go, I was grumbling under my breath – I don’t want to go, I just want to go home. I’m irritable. I marched myself down the street to the studio, aptly named the Circus. Joining a circus is exactly what I needed to get out of my funk – to go someplace where I can be me and do something crazy and fun.

The class was challenging. I have only done one or two aerial classes before and that was years ago. I consider myself strong but this was a whole new level of strength. I was definitely the beginner. I felt uncoordinated and weak. It was perfect.

The pressure to have it all figured out, to know exactly what to do, and to look like you have it all together can be oppressive. Doing something that puts you back in the seat of the beginner allows you to take the pressure off. You can fall, stumble, and mess up and it’s ok because you are learning. That is the best way to learn – playing with it, seeing what different levels look like, noticing your desire to achieve that next level, and then checking your commitment to doing the work to get to that next level. The trick is to keep it fun, keep it exploratory, keep it playful. You will be much more willing to keep going if it’s fun, exciting, and you enjoy the challenge of advancement.

This is key to your business as well. You begin your business full of excitement and passion. Then you start building up the pressure to achieve and soon you notice that the work that used to bring you so much joy is now bringing you down.

Instead of beating yourself up and feeling down when you haven’t advanced as much as you would have liked, recommit. Ask what you can do differently. Check to see if you are putting too much pressure on yourself. Then, make adjustments. What can you do to make it more fun? How can you add fun (instead of pressure) to the challenge of progressing?

Come back to the place of heart. Remind yourself why you started your business to begin with – embody that feeling again. That feeling of excitement, purpose, and passion. What led to you losing it? What can you do to realign and come back to you? You are what make your business. It’s not your product or service, it’s you. When you have lost touch and connection with you, you lose your business. It becomes something outside of you, something to judge yourself against, something to use to prove you aren’t good enough when you aren’t progressing as much as you would like, it becomes your whip instead of your wand.

Begin again. Step into beginner mind. How would you most like to share your message today? How would you most like to serve your community today? What is your soul longing for that you’ve been denying? It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t make sense, it doesn’t matter if it isn’t related to your business. What matters is you showing up as the most true, authentic you there is. That is what people want. That is what people will pay for, not some fancy system, complicated strategy, or sophisticated philosophy – you in your divine power being unapologetically you.

It might sound crazy but it’s true. Your energy is everything. When you are deeply connected to you and your soul genius, all the pressure and anxiety fade away. You come back to your power, grounded and centered, trusting everything is working out in your highest good, always, no matter what. External circumstances have less effect on you because you know everything comes from within. When you cultivate that deep inner knowing, your inner wealth, worth, and wisdom are released and activated bringing you all that you desire and beyond.

Let go of the pressure. You know what you need to know. Stumble, Fall. Get back up. Be curious. Learn. Adjust. And most importantly, play. It’s all a game and you get to make up (and break) the rules all you want. Have fun with it. It’s your life after all.

 

 

P.S. I currently have an opening for two ready-to-bust-out-of-the-funk in their business and life and come back into alignment with their soul genius, rebel entrepreneurs. If you’re ready to get off the struggle bus for once and for all and live your life and business as a true reflection of you, let’s set up a time to talk. 

 

 

Autumnal Equinox, Labyrinths, and Ladybugs – the Call of your Soul

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I sat serenely on a weathered wooden chair, encircled by seven pine and cottonwood trees. The wind whistled as it rustled the leaves of the trees indicating the onset of autumn. The sky shifted from indigo to cerulean as a bright red ladybug nestled on a branch in between the thick, dark green pine needles mirroring my quiet contemplation.

 

This is my office. This sacred space with no walls, no doors, no ceilings, or borders is just as much my office as my office at home. Why? Because there is no separation, no division among work, life, and love. They are one in the same because they are me. Recording a video, writing an article or post, walking a labyrinth, performing improv, teaching, coaching, sitting in the center of a cluster of trees – they each contribute to my work, my relationships, and my soul. I am present to every moment, knowing that in that very moment, everything is perfect because what determines the moment is the state of my soul. The energy – the space of me – I bring and hold is what makes each moment.

 

My soul needs this – the wide open sky that feels as deep as the ocean, acres of open land, spaciousness – no constraints or limitations, simple freedom. The wind alternates between gentle and powerful as the sun shifts from warming the body to burning and reddening the skin. No worries, no cares, no attachments. Free and supported, guided, provided for. The cycle of creation and destruction and rebirth is unfettered and unbound. A tiny yellow bug with black polka dots explores the arm of the wooden chair, its antennae waving in the wind.

 

So many paths, some taken again and again until you realize, hmm, I’d like a different path now, none “better” than another, simply different as comparison and judgment fade. There is no destination. There is, and always will be, only the journey. It will shift and change directions. You will have different companions. Yet it will always be exactly as it is meant to be. No comparison to others’ journeys because there is only yours. You are always creating it. A chirp of a bird awakens me from my reverie, asking, what are you choosing here and now? Here and now. What are you choosing to believe, to think, to do, to be?

 

Grounded, rooted, strong, sturdy. Something amazingly unbelievably beautiful is happening right now. An awakening. An alchemy.

 

Are you brave enough to bare your soul? To invite others on your journey however disjointed it may feel right now? However messy it may look, you are still walking your path with grace, awareness, attention, and appreciation. It is the experience of how you’re choosing to show up for it – even in the most intense storm, you can remain the eye – calm, centered, unshakeable, alert, and responsive. It is the experience of every moment that makes up your life; how you choose to experience each moment is what matters.

 

Your life can change in an instant because you can change in an instant. As you invoke your divine sovereign power and tap into the kingdom of riches that resides within you, you are magnetic, transformative, purifying, disrupting, alchemizing, elevating, and captivating. The body as art, your work as art, your life as art, you as art. You are creating a masterpiece, moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day.

Lessons from the Battlefield – The Journey Within

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I was sitting in the dining room, soaking up the sun as I  created a new resource to help my community. The past few months had been amazing. I conducted a five-week workshop that filled with the perfect combination of people. I signed a one on one client from that workshop. Then I offered a special coaching package to my email list for my birthday and signed a client into that. I was thrilled. This is what I wanted – to help people connect deeply with themselves, their greatness, genius, intuition, and brilliance to bring the work that was written on their soul into the world in its highest expression so that they were living THEIR life, not some version of someone else’s life. A few weeks later, I attended a workshop on strengths and signed a client from there and shortly after another client through a Facebook post. I felt so aligned. My work and words were having an impact and I was doing what I had long dreamed of doing – running my own successful business helping creative rebel entrepreneurs remove and heal all the blocks they had placed in the way of their success, igniting their inner wealth, and designing their life and business on their terms. It felt amazing.

 

And then, just like that, I turned it off. I went into strategy mode. Instead of trusting that what I was doing was working (I had evidence that it was), I let the saboteur in me tell me I needed to network, do webinars, create more resources, learn more strategies – basically disconnect from my intuition and genius. I gave my power to everyone and everything outside of me – surely THEY knew better than I did. This only led to a deeper distrust in myself, which kept me in the desert. It was brutal. It was a sick cycle – I didn’t believe in myself so I wasn’t signing clients which then caused me to believe in myself even less. There was no escape because this pattern of suffering and struggle was all too familiar and it fed on me, ultimately keeping me small.

 

You see, struggle was what I knew. I grew up, the second of two daughters to a single mom. When my mom remarried, my creative, artistic stepdad struggled with unemployment on and off. I saw my mom work a full-time job and take on a night job as well. There was always this underlying tension of struggle. I told myself I didn’t ever want that but saying it is easy. Your deep programming is a whole other story. It manifested in different ways throughout my life.

First in my all-out attack on my body which had me struggle with eating disorders, compulsive exercise and obsessing about what I ate. This became my familiar struggle, again to keep myself small. I devoured books on the mind and body and worked on healing this until it finally lost its grip on me and I took my power back. At the same time, I struggled with relationships, which makes sense. If I don’t value my body, how am I going to value myself enough to choose men that valued me? Once again, I dug in, sought out support, read and researched, and did the work to heal.

 

Then when I started my business, it was a whole new animal. I thought eating disorders and dysfunctional relationships with men were bad. It was nothing compared to the demons that came out when I decided to be an entrepreneur. All the doubts about myself that had been occupied previously attacking my body or my ability to be in a healthy relationship, came at me full force. I had already done a ton of work on myself so this caught me by surprise. I had spent my life studying the power of the mind, human behavior, personal growth – I was THE self-help section of the bookstore. Yet, this, this, wow. Thank God I had struggled with body and relationship issues because if not, I’m not sure I’d have the resources and knowledge to fight this battle.

 

The core issue of worthiness was triggered like never before. Who do you think you are that you can help people? Look at what all you’ve been through. You really think you can make a living running your own business? You’re nuts. You need more education, more training, more knowledge, more, more, more. All this despite decades of work in this exact area, a Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, a Master’s degree in Intercultural Communication, a Life Coach certification, a Vinyasa Yoga teacher certification, years of leading professional development trainings and chairing a professional development committee, years of coaching staff on working in their zone of genius, countless workshops, seminars, and training, hundreds of hours coaching others and receiving my own coaching from a variety of coaches with different styles and backgrounds, and thousands of hours researching, reading and applying that research to my life. Oh yes, that saboteur is a wily bitch. She is relentless. This is NO amount of education, training, and experience that will satisfy her. None.

 

Along with the sly saboteur, the child, victim, and prostitute paid their visits. The child declared that you needed permission first. The victim stepped in and said there is something wrong with you, something must be blocking you from what you want – something or someone outside of you has the power, not you. And of course, the lovely prostitute said you better get a job because you can’t afford to go after your dreams.

 

No wonder it was a challenge. At the core of all of this was a lack of self-belief which gives these fears their power to attack. And they feed on each other with the ultimate goal of keeping you small, aka, “safe.”

 

One of my mentors told me some time ago, the whole point of entrepreneurship, the secret, the key, is learning to trust yourself. That’s it.

It’s so simple, but not easy.

 

So that became my work. The strategy, networking, webinars, posts, videos, none of those mattered if I didn’t believe in myself. They were merely distractions – the busy work that made me feel like I was working on my business but really I was avoiding doing the hard work  – the real work – healing my relationship with myself. Because who wants to do that? That’s certainly not on the top of most people’s lists. Hmm, Grand Canyon, Grow Business, Himalayas, Host Retreats, Iceland, Write Books, Cuba, Heal my Relationship with myself – what? Wait, who put that on the list? Are you kidding? I need to make money and isn’t that what all these other things (strategy, list building, webinars, networking, etc.)  are going to help me do? How is this really going to help me?

 

Therein lie the rub and the secret. All those things on your list – international travel, growing your business, becoming a published author, being a retreat leader and more are all only possible when you deeply and completely love, honor, respect, and trust yourself.

This work, while not glamorous, is the most worthwhile work you will ever do. And it is indeed work. It is the work of deprogramming yourself, unhooking yourself from everything and everyone you have ever given your power to over the years, cutting all those generational agreements you didn’t even realize you were keeping intact, and going within more deeply than you ever have before. Doing this half-assed won’t work. Believe me, I tried. It is all or nothing, which can be scary.

 

For me, it looked like taking a break from family and friends – completely disconnecting from all the sources I have, perhaps unknowingly, given my power to. It meant digging into my shadow side, uncovering buried shame, bringing the darkness to the light to see the gift that it had been hiding all these years. It meant buying a baseball bat to beat up a pillow to allow anger to have its release. It meant calling out the illusion all the lies I had believed represented and invoking the truth – again and again and again. It meant declaring that I would NOT abandon myself, hide, or play small anymore. It meant that I had to love myself and my life, exactly as it was, to stop placing my worth, value, and happiness on some target in the future. It also meant detaching from all false sources of power – acceptance, approval, validation, praise, money, numbers – anything outside of me could no longer determine my worth.

 

I had to come to the place where I saw my grandness, my brilliance, my inherent value – no matter my circumstances. It was the choice and decision to love myself and my life, no matter what, that changed everything.

 

That is the work – to know who you truly are – without your money, possessions, work, family, friends, or relationships. That’s when you see your true greatness, the treasure that you are, just for being YOU. You realize you, yes you, are significant. Just you, Not because of your possessions, your bank account, your work, your relationships. You, without any of that. You. You matter. When that comes first and foremost, that inner belief, inner strength, inner power and security in who you are, that is when everything, everything, in your life changes. Your work, your health, your relationships, your finances – they all rise to meet the supreme being that you are, to reflect your greatness and to radiate your truth. I’d say that relationship with yourself work,  that’s something worth investing in. It is the very work that will indeed save your life – your true life, the life you are meant to live, the life that chose you and only you to be the star of the show. Because you see, at the end of it all, you, my friend, you are the grand prize.

 

If this resonates with you, check out my upcoming group program: Unbounded Prosperous Soul to ignite your Inner Wealth – Your True Wealth and Worth

Dissolve your fears and claim your true desires

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This past Saturday I hosted a workshop to activate your inner genius and light your year on fire. It was such a fun event!

 

I have to be honest with you though, every time I put an event or workshop out there, there is a part of me (the small self) that is nervous it won’t fill or no one will be interested. It is a constant battle between this smaller self and the higher self, who is operating from a place of highest service. The higher self knows I must show up, be of service, share my truth – without attachment to the outcome. The higher self knows that hiding and playing small is not an option while that is the default for the smaller self. The smaller self operates from a place of fear and doubt – and is attached to what other people think. What if they don’t like it? I’ll look like a fool if no one shows up. And on and on. The small self keeps you stuck while tricking you into believing it is keeping you safe. Hiding and playing small is not safe. It is living a watered down version of your life. Without risk, there is not much reward.

 

So you have to tame the small self.  You have to tell it you’ll be ok, whether anyone shows up or not because this is something you want to do. This is something that is important to you. This is something you need to share with the world.

 

You are the channel, the vehicle for this – it isn’t about you – it is about what you are here to do and share for your highest good and the highest good of everyone you come into contact with.

 

This is why being vigilant with your thoughts is so important. If you let the lower/smaller self run the show, you will forever stay stuck in a pattern of discontent. You will talk yourself out of your desires, or worse yet, you’ll lose touch with your desires. The smaller self wants to know you will be ok, hence why it opts for what it thinks is safe. You have to reassure the lower self that you will be ok, that you will have your back, and that living the fullest expression of your life is the only safe option. Anything else is living a slow death.

 

Moment by moment, hour by hour, remind yourself that everything is always working out for you. One of the best ways to melt away fear is through action. If there is something you desire, take action right away before your smaller self talks you out of it. At the same time, release your attachment to the outcome. Your job is to show up, honor and act on your intuition, connect with your soul desires, and be in highest service to your soul genius and wisdom.

 

How do you do that? Get out of your head! Get into your body – move in some way every day. Activate your inner artist and magician through creative arts and play – every day. Speak your truth – always, no matter what. Declare what it is you desire with authority. Then, trust it is taken care of. Release it. Prepare to receive it by BEING in the energy of having it NOW.

 

So, back to the workshop. I created it from a place of desire and the more I worked on it, the more excited I got. I could see the whole workshop and could feel the energy of it. I knew it was what I wanted to do and that there was nothing else I would rather be doing at that time. I designed it so that I would like it, so that I would want to attend, and so that I would have fun doing it. That is exactly how it turned out too. We did improv games, we danced, we did yoga and stretched, we meditated, visualized, created and sang. We activated our inner artists, magicians, and inner geniuses so that the visions we were creating were coming from a place of infinite possibilities, divine power, and our truths. The energy during the workshop was amazing – fun, creative, introspective, reflective, and connecting. We created a sacred space and cultivated community during our time together.

 

This is possible all the time. It is a decision to live from a place of faith, trust, love, divine guidance, inspiration, and soul connection. It is a discipline to stay in that place.

 

This is the work I am committed to – guiding my clients to live their lives in alignment with their soul genius and prosperity, to own and live the truth of who they are everywhere, all the time.

 

If you are tired of feeling stuck in old patterns, analysis paralysis, limiting beliefs, and discontent with the status quo, let’s talk because the truth is you are destined for greatness, not mediocrity.

http://bit.ly/Rebel_Soul

There is no such thing as bad luck

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“Bad luck” either makes a man or destroys him.

 

There is no such thing as bad luck honestly. However, if you have experienced significant losses, faced tremendous difficulties, or been stuck in what feels like an endless cycle of doubt, depression, and debt, it might feel like bad luck (I have been through all of these). It might even feel like the worst thing that has ever happened to you.

 

And this is where you have a choice – will you allow it to destroy you or will you allow it to be one of the greatest gifts?

 

I know this is challenging – probably one of the most challenging things to do, to be honest. Especially if you are in a place where it’s hard to see the way out. This is precisely when you must not ‘get out.’ This is where you actually need to dig in and go deeper. Because if you do right into fixing it, you miss the lesson in it.

 

Everything is always working FOR you, regardless of how it may appear. When you don’t allow yourself to explore what is happening on a deeper level, you are wiring your brain to continue to repeat this pattern. If you give yourself the strength and courage to see this differently and to choose to rewire your system, disrupt old patterns, and create a new way of being, you heal more than your current situation, you heal years of the neglect and mistreatment of your soul.

 

This experience is your soul asking you to wake up.  It is often major losses and intense challenges that are the very things required to wake us up.

 

Most people prefer the path of least resistance. As such, choosing the difficult road is not the first choice. This is why many people stay stuck in dissatisfying jobs, unfulfilling relationships, and less than great health.

 

It’s not great but it’s not quite bad enough to incite change. Until it is…

 

You lose your best friend to cancer. Your business is barely crawling along. Your debt is at an all-time high. Your arguments with your partner are worsening. Your body image and health is about in the toilet. Your self-doubt and self-dislike (loathing) are through the roof.

 

And you know you can’t go on like this. That living in this place is not living.

 

Resist the urge to immediately fix it. Instead of being critical of what you are going through and your response to it, be curious.

 

How is this actually perfect? How is all of this working FOR me?

 

Journal on this without restriction and allow whatever comes up to come up. Let your imagination, not your head to discover the gifts in this “mess.”

 

What you discover there is GOLD.

 

All destruction is in service of creation. Your soul is asking to be birthed anew, to take its rightful place as the driver of your life. Honor this process. The truth is now being revealed so that you can finally be free.

 

Awaken your heart. Ignite your spirit. Activate your soul genius. Set yourself free and RISE UP.

 

I invite you to reach out to me if you are stuck in that old pattern of struggle and deeply desire to be free – free to be aligned with your soul genius, to be living in alignment with your truth, to work from a place of divine power and highest service,  and to be the YOUEST you, fully, unapologetically, confidently, courageously, and abundantly.

 

That is my gifting – guiding my clients back to their TRUE radiant, abundant, magnificent soul. If you’re ready to step into the true you – confident, powerful, prosperous, wise, wealthy, and peaceful, set up your call here:

http://bit.ly/Rebel_Soul

 

In Denver, this Saturday, July 7th, 2:30 – 5:00p pm – Activate your soul genius and light your year on fire! More info and registration here:

http://bit.ly/Soul_Activation