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Kori Gouge

Business Growth Coach

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Stories (Blog)

Healing Humanity Begins Within

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The world is turned upside down. The things we feared – terrorism, nuclear bombs, guns – are not the things that are wreaking havoc around the globe.

What can we do in the face of such great uncertainty? When everything we thought we knew about the world is called into question? 

First, it is important to acknowledge the fear and anxiety you are feeling – not run from it, seek to numb it out, put your head in the sand and ignore it, nor dismiss it. 

It is a valid and understandable response. Can you allow yourself to sit with it with compassion instead of criticism?

This doesn’t mean you are feeding into it more. When we bring our fears out into the open, they lose some of their power over us. When can recognize how these fears make us feel and their impact on our state of being. In that place, we can then choose if we want to continue feeling that way or if we’d like to entertain other states of being.

We can have a conversation with the part of ourselves that is scared:

This is really unnerving. I can see why I would feel scared and anxious. That is a normal response to what’s happening, It’s ok. As I allow this to pass through me, I’d now like to experience feeling ok.

I’d like to open myself to feeling hopeful, to put my energy into seeing beyond this. I can look outside and see the sun warming the earth, I can hear the birds still singing, I can see the grass starting to grow again, the irises beginning to bloom. This reminds me that nature is in a constant state of regeneration and renewal. This helps me see that humanity is too.

That feels a little better. I’d like to feel more of that throughout the day. I know the more I can cultivate those feelings, the more positively I impact my mental and physical health, and the more positively I influence others. 

I appreciate the power I have to control and direct my mind to global healing and economic recovery. As I stay focused on this desire, I know I will be led to take specific actions that contribute to that outcome. 

This is a time for creativity, innovation, and a whole new level of connection – true connection to spirit, God, the universe, each other and your infinite inner power. 

To make changes on the physical plane, we must connect with the spiritual plane. This doesn’t mean we sit back and pray and meditate. Yes, prayers and meditation are powerful, yet without action, they are meaningless. We need both – a connection to spirit that drives action. 

We must tune into our intuition as we tune out from all the negativity. We must take action from a place of love and faith instead of fear and doubt.

We are all incredibly resourceful and resilient. Tune into that.

Where are you being called to take action? Who are you being called to be? Answer the call.

As you rise, you lift up all of humanity with you. 

#riseup #elevateconsciousness #globalhealing #innerpower #appliedfaith #intentionalaction #seebeyond #coreconnection

Using Curiosity to Release Distraction

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What are your default self-soothing activities?

Do they support you holistically?

I used to love nothing more than having a glass of wine at the end of a long day. It felt like a special treat. It allowed me to take the edge off of my day. 

As I increased my commitment to myself, I began to ask, what is it about my day that makes me feel on edge at the end of it?

I discovered the work I was doing was not aligned with my soul and that internal conflict was creating stress and anxiety. Instead of addressing the cause, I dealt with the symptom and numbed myself out with alcohol. It doesn’t work long term. 

The ache in your soul for you to be living and expressing your greatest desires and life purpose cannot be tamed by cheap substitutes.

Yes, it is scary to go after your desires but isn’t it scarier to live a life that is leading you on a path to self-destruction? 

I put away the bottle and when the unease and discomfort visited me, I sat with them. I committed to being curious instead of critical of those feelings. I asked what I really needed because I knew alcohol wasn’t going to cut it. I discovered that what I was craving was my own attention, my own love and care. 

Discomfort is a sign of disconnection. It is a call to come back to you, not run even further away from you. When you are willing to connect deeply with yourself, you notice your higher power is right there and has been all along. It is guiding you to your true desires, not your momentary distractions disguised as desires. 

We are truly incredible beings and we have the power to heal ourselves from our misguided beliefs and misaligned actions. We must return to ourselves to do so. We must trust we have what we need to support ourselves well and sustainably. We must trust our feelings are valid and allow them to be expressed without self-criticism. We can explore the beliefs we are holding that are leading to those unpleasant feelings and choose to create new beliefs. With those new beliefs, we can take new actions.

Actions that support our growth, the realization of our desires, and the expression of our life purpose. 

We can then create healthy ways to support ourselves through that growth as undesirable emotions surface to challenge our commitment. 

We get to choose differently which reinforces our new beliefs which then creates new feelings. 

We get to do this without the ill effects often caused by drinking – feeling hungover and foggy-headed, feeling remorseful for having said something that didn’t need to be said or having done something we regret. We can choose to make decisions with a clear head, an open heart, and take actions that demonstrate our integrity with ourselves instead of actions that demonstrate our inner conflict. 

I am choosing to be more awake and aware which means alcohol no longer plays a major role in my life. I value feeling clear and energetic and alcohol often takes that away from me. 

I still have a lot to learn and alcohol is just one of the many distractions used to escape ourselves. The more we commit to connecting deeply with ourselves, no matter how we feel, the more those other distractions will also begin to lose their appeal. 

It comes down to asking yourself, how do you most want to experience this one life of yours?

What allows you to feel more awake, aware, and alive? Are these activities and experiences a part of your day every day?

What would it take to shift more towards connection and distance yourself more from distraction?

What would that feel like?

What would that make available to you?

How would that change your life?

Book your call with me and find out.

Redefine Security to Experience True Freedom

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The world is an insecure place. It makes sense we, as humans, would grapple with our own insecurities. 

Yet we must challenge our conception of security. Security is not controlling everything, analyzing everything, or strategizing everything. Security is not perfection. 

Security, to me, is being free from worry about the future, anxiety about the present, and regret about the past. For me, security must come from within. It is cultivating inner trust, a strong faith, and knowing that you will be ok with you no matter what happens. 

Security is freedom from external measures of success, validation, approval, and acceptance and giving those things to you now, not when or if your conditions are met. 

Security is being calm in uncertainty, choosing to stay in the moment, and mastering your emotional and energetic state. 

Security comes from forgiving ourselves and choosing to love yourself despite your misguided decisions and misaligned choices. 

Security is being honest with yourself about where you are, what you want, and what you are and are not willing to do to get there. 

Security is being all of who you are wherever you are and whoever you are with.

Security is having the courage to share the truth of who you are, right where you are, no matter how messy that might be. 

What that mess has looked like in my life is wrestling with self-loathing and self-sabotage. I am learning to forgive, love, and accept myself. I am letting go of all the self-judgment and self-criticism and making amends to myself. There are moments when I feel freer than I have ever felt, joyful for no reason, and experience a deep connection with spirit. I am choosing to deliberately create more of those moments to replace the periods of doubt and depression. The more I realize that spirit is within me and working through me, the more I connect to my divine inner nature where worry, lack, and limitation don’t exist. There I see that my challenges have already been solved. There I see that my challenges chose me in order to grow me so that I could guide others through their challenges to their own liberation. There I see that everything is, indeed, always working out for me, even when I slip back into insecurity. I can now see that insecurity was calling me to wake up and come back to me – the divine, confident, courageous, imperfect me.

What does security look and feel like for you?

From shy insecure girl to confident bold woman performing on stage

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I used to be shy. I was the type of person who preferred being behind the scenes to center stage.

My stepdad nicknamed me ‘mouse’ because I was so quiet and always seemed to be hiding. 

I struggled with low self-esteem and confidence. I was self-conscious and worried about what others thought of me.

At various periods throughout my life, I have thought I was fat, ugly, stupid, and overall not good enough. 

Instead of buying into these lies, I did the work to uncover the truth.

It wasn’t easy. It was often uncomfortable and many times I wanted to throw in the towel and go back to my old ways. Yet, I knew there had to be something greater than living in such a state of insecurity. I knew I wanted to be free to be all of me no matter who I was around, what I was wearing, what I looked like, or what I was doing. 

I didn’t want to live constantly comparing myself to others, criticizing myself, holding myself back, and feeling down about myself and my life.

I knew, somewhere deep inside, that if I had created all this struggle, I had to be able to create its opposite – a feeling of freedom, security, and ease. 

Step by step, day by day, I did the work to shift my beliefs, thoughts, and actions.

I went on to overcome a decade-long battle with eating disorders, earn my Master’s degree, live and work outside the US for several years, travel abroad solo for multiple months, perform as a burlesque dancer, improv actor, and spoken word poet, become a university professor, community trainer and workshop facilitator, and communication and self-expression coach.

Being center stage no longer scares me. What people think of me no longer has power over me. 

I have learned that what matters is what I think of me and how I treat me. I get to choose my state of being in every moment – it no longer fluctuates based on the situation or the people I’m around. This also means I choose situations and people who elevate me both by challenging me to think differently and by loving me and all my imperfections without the need to change me. 

This is huge. It has given me a freedom like no other and a new kind of security. It has given me me back.

If this is speaking to you, I invite you to schedule a call with me.If you are tired of the comparison game, done going through the motions, and over being so hard on yourself, join me to learn a new way to be which will set you absolutely free.

Overcoming You to Embody the True YOU

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You often hear about the need to overcome something, right?

You need to overcome the loss of a job, a heartbreak, a disappointment, grief over the loss of a loved one, various forms of addictions, codependency, and the list goes on.

I have discovered that it isn’t the thing, the situation, or the person we have to overcome. It isn’t the job, the ex-partner, the overeating, excessive drinking, depression, anxiety, or sense of despair that we need to get over, it is ourselves.

Stay with me here.

It is our own attachment to those things, situations, and people that is making us miserable. It is our attachment to the idea it was “supposed” to be different – that somehow we could control how everything turned out – that feeds our discontent. It is our attachment to what we are making it all mean that is causing us the most pain. 

When my best dog died, he was my sole companion. I was living alone in a country that wasn’t my own. I didn’t have any close friends or family there with me, just my pup. When he died suddenly, I was devastated. This is normal. Grief is normal. It was the weeks that followed that stirred up the darkness.

You see, in my mind, my pup was “supposed” to come back home to the US with me. I had brought him with me. I was responsible for him, thus it was my fault he died. I should’ve played God somehow in some way to have prevented his death. I made it mean I was irresponsible. I was guilty. I was a bad person. I was stupid for bringing him with me in the first place.

So what did I do to deal with all the ugliness that I was creating? I drank. I told myself it was ok because it was wine. It wasn’t like I was drinking the hard stuff. (oh lovely excuses!)

It didn’t make it better, of course. I felt even worse. I had started down a dark path, one of self-hatred, distrust, and depression. 

Why? It wasn’t the loss. It was what I made the loss mean about me. It was me being angry that life hadn’t turned out according to MY plans. And, it was me who had placed a lot of my happiness outside of me. 

It is much easier to be upset about a loss than it is to deal with all the baggage the loss brings up. So we often stay on the surface. We indulge in self-pity and become a bit hardened on the inside.

What if this rupture in our identity and sense of self that was created by this loss was not to take us into the depths of despair but to let more light in to all the broken bits inside of us? 

Not many will choose this path as it isn’t easy. But, then again, how easy is it to live with the burden of guilt and shame for the rest of your life? That ain’t no cakewalk, my friend. 

The darkness may frighten us but is often in our darkest moments that we begin to see the light we had been hiding all along. 

Anytime we choose to ignore or suppress our uncomfortable emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to learn from them and become a more whole soul.

If you are wrestling with your own inner gremlins, telling you just to lose the weight already, get over the ex for crying out loud, get out of debt now, write the damn book, get to the gym regularly, give up the drink, cut back on sugar, have that challenging conversation, cut back on social media or tv, reduce your spending, get a new job, or change your diet for the love of God, it’s not about the actual thing. 

It’s about letting go of all those old stories about who you are, who you were meant to be, and how life was meant to turn out and allowing the true you to emerge. The life the true you creates will blow all that other stuff out of the water. And you’ll wonder why you held on to it all for so long in the first place. 

Are you ready to let go of that thing that is holding you back – your addiction or distraction of choice – to make way for you to embody the true you?

What you will discover and experience is a new level of emotional stability, inner security, calm confidence, powerful presence, true freedom, and joy. 

Ain’t no wine, chocolate, job, or person that can give you that.

http://bit.ly/Activate_You


Answering the call depends on who’s calling.

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At 5:30am this morning, I leaped out of bed to respond to a call for help. My pup, Merli, was sick. When I heard her, even though I was still half asleep, I sprung into motion. I ran for her kennel to get her out. I held her and pet her to make sure she was ok. I took her outside, gave her some food and then we went on a walk. 

I didn’t yell at her for waking me up. I didn’t scold her for dirtying her bed. I didn’t begrudge her for messing up my morning routine. I was kind, attentive, and loving. 

Would we do the same for ourselves when we felt off? 

We beat ourselves up for not getting up earlier. We scold ourselves for not getting more done during the day. We hold on to the impact of past actions in influencing our productivity. In short, we are very rarely kind, attentive, and loving to ourselves. We more quickly attack and criticize than seek to understand and learn. 

Why do we continue to think abuse leads to change when all evidence points to the opposite?

What would be possible for you if you gave yourself the attention you’re often seeking from others?

What would happen if you stopped attacking yourself and working against yourself and started working FOR you? 

Imagine what you would discover if you were curious with your missteps, anxiety, or stuckness instead of critical. 

Where would that new awareness lead you? What would that make available to you? 

Here is a glimpse into some of the results I’ve had from doing this powerful inner work:

  • Overcoming body hatred and shame, anorexia and bulimia, compulsive eating and obsessive exercise. I now eat with awareness, pleasure, and zero guilt. I exercise in ways that fill me up instead of break me down. I am at peace with and appreciative of my body.
  • Leaving a job that was no longer fulfilling and moving alone outside the US to live and work. I got out of the spiral of “what I am meant to do with my life” and did it – I earned my coaching certification and began my mission of guiding others back to their true, highest selves and their soul work.

The best part is I trust myself, respect my journey, and honor my process of continual transformation. 

Where do you want to go and who do you want to be? I’d love to be your guide for that incredible journey.

Adventure calls