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Kori Gouge

Body Success Mentor for High-Achieving Women, Denver

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Stories (Blog)

A New Definition of Progress

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How knocking the passenger side mirror off my car showed me how much progress I’ve made

 

As I was backing into the garage, a little too close to the side, my passenger side mirror knocked clean off. WTF? I was pissed. This was the second time in two years this has happened. Are you kidding me? AH!

I went inside the house and started crying.

 

It wasn’t about the mirror.

 

It was the tiredness, the lack of “progress,”  the end of the year. It was being so close to something yet thinking you are far away. It was not being able to see clearly.

 

The pressure to be in a certain place professionally, to have achieved a certain level of success, to feel a sense of accomplishment weighs heavy. And, all of this needs to be financial, professional – it all needs to “prove” you am worthy of a year gone by. You must produce, accomplish, achieve, or you don’t have value.

 

You can’t see when you are only looking ahead to what’s next and focusing on where you aren’t yet. It’s a recipe for beating yourself up and keeping yourself stuck.

 

My default in the past would have been to go down the slippery slope and convince myself nothing was working, open a bottle of wine or pour myself a stiff drink, commiserate, maybe indulge in sweets or some other distraction.

I would have swum in negativity, felt progressively worse about myself and my life to the point where I would end up wondering what the hell the point of my life was and wishing for it all to end.  

Not a pretty picture.

 

This time, I sat and cried for a minute. I felt it, acknowledged it, and let it move through me without letting it take me down.

Then, I got up, washed off my tears, and put on water for tea.

I prepared myself some goat cheese with pecans and cranberries and a bit of chocolate.

Food, grounding food, helped. I then roasted vegetables and sauteed a chicken breast.

I made another cup of tea.

Movement, action, focusing on what you DO have control over helps – so much more than pining over the future or jumping in the pool of analysis.

This is so FAR from where I used to be, it is almost laughable. I am a completely different person.

 

You did what? Made tea and a healthy snack and meal? WTF is wrong with you? No spiraling into addictions, swirling in negativity, lashing out at the world?

How in the hell did you do that?

 

I looked BACK instead of forward and saw how much I have grown this year.

I was kind to myself, despite my tiredness and frustration.

I scoured the shadow energy out and reminded myself of the truth:

I am worthy just for being me.

I have nothing to prove.

I am right where I need to be.

No one and nothing, not any situation or circumstance, has power over me.  

Period.

 

All I needed to do was knock the mirror off my car to remind me to look back, not forward.

From that perspective, wow. Things are much different. I hardly recognize myself.

I’d say that’s progress, my friend. HUGE progress.

 

How do you define progress?

 

 

The Year is Not Over Yet

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What the heck happened to this year, you think to yourself. How the heck did it go by so fast? What do I have to show for it? I’m not ready for a new year yet. I still have so much I want to do!

 

You have worked so hard this year. You’ve invested in your own personal and professional growth through programs and coaches yet you’re still not where you want to be. Ugh. You’re tired of working so hard – on yourself and your career. You want to see results. You want time and space to breathe and to enjoy the harvest of all that you’ve planted. Why is it not growing faster, dang it, you say.

 

Breathe. It’s ok. You are right where you need to be, as far away as it might feel from where you want to be. This is about trust. This is not the time to abandon yourself, criticize yourself, or abuse yourself. This is a time for completion, for coming clean, and for preparing for all that you desire to come to you.

 

You can’t receive what you most desire if you are in a place of condemnation. You have to master your shadow so it no longer determines your direction. You must become the master of your energy in every situation and in all circumstances. That is when you realize you have all the time you need and that you determine your success. You.

 

When you hold the highest standards for yourself and prepare the most divine environment for your soul, you allow what you desire to come to you. You ask, knowing it is already yours, and you let it go, trusting it is on the way. TRUSTING is the key.

 

If you are still operating out of the old system (beliefs and ways of being), filling yourself with worry and anxiety, you will fall back into the groove that has kept you stuck in a state of discontent and frustration. And you will continue to get more of what you don’t want instead of the forward progress you are craving.

 

Another year will go by. Your progress will feel infinitesimally small. You’ll spiral into analysis and attack your sense of self  – what the heck is wrong with me? And, you’ll start the process over again. You can’t get there from here. That’s why you keep staying here.

 

You have to step out of the shadow. You have to take 100% responsibility for all your results and lack of results. You have to see with new eyes.

 

You must upgrade your system.  

 

Join me for a special bespoke transformational mentorship – Complete 2018. Ignite 2019 – two weeks in December of personalized support to complete 2018 to eradicate those old beliefs and clean out your system followed by two weeks of support in January to integrate your new way of being so that you are soaring into 2019 already operating at your next level.

 

This work is powerful. We dig deep to uncover what’s been holding you back from living in true alignment with your soul, free up that energy, and use it to power you forward. You become unstoppable, unshakeable, unoffendable.

 

I am so excited to offer this timely support that I am offering it at a very special rate – 55% off my normal rate! What!?

 

Yes, that’s how pumped I am about this.

 

Receive the highest level of support to set you up for leaving everything that no longer serves you behind and stepping into your true, phenomenal self for only $997.

 

You receive two weeks of support in December and two weeks of  support in January that includes four 60-minute deep dive sessions with me, IM or Whatsapp daily check-ins during your support weeks, email access with responses within 24 hours, and access to all the tools and resources I have created and used for my own transformation. You schedule the dates that work best for you and we take off from there.

 

This is the time of year where support is often lacking as we get carried away with the holidays and fall off track easily. You don’t want to start the year in a daze, feeling even deeper in the ditch from the holiday freneticism. This is when you most need to hold onto yourself, elevate your vision, and rise above all the things that are clawing to keep you stuck in your old way of being. Think of it as your gift to yourself – a gift that has tremendous rewards.

 

If this is speaking to you, I invite you to schedule a call with me.

 

There is no perfect time. There is only now – the present.

 

Love,

 

Kori

 

What do you do when you’ve asked but nothing happens?

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What do you do when you’ve asked but nothing happens?

 

Crickets. Nada. Zilch.

 

Do you let doubt seep in? Do you spiral into fear, worry, and anxiety?

 

Do you abandon yourself and your desires?

 

Or do you stay in alignment with your desires – acting, being, and believing as the person who already has what they desire, regardless of their current circumstances?

 

Most often, abandonment comes quickly. It’s the easy way out – ditch your desires and “be responsible” and “grow up.”

 

Beware, the shadow is lurking.

 

You must check for lies and illusions because shadow energy is running the show when this happens. You must excavate those lies, extricate them, and operate on them. You must burn out the shadow as if you were performing surgery, removing the toxic cells and burning all the roots left behind before sewing the incision back together. You must completely burn out the roots so they have nothing left to cling to; so they cannot dig deeper and grow again. They are insidious.

 

You must be diligent. You must be vigilant. When and if you notice them creeping back in, you must attack immediately. You must root them out, clean out the trench completely, and you must plant truth there so you don’t leave a void. Nature seeks to fill voids so do not leave it vulnerable to weeds and old growth. Fill it only with the best soil – with life-giving beliefs and thoughts and truth – so that only truth can grow there. And then hold yourself to that truth with exacting standards, radical trust, and supreme integrity in what you say, how you hold yourself, your posture, your facial expressions, your appearance, your thoughts, actions, words, and beliefs.

 

Now ask yourself – do you believe yourself?

 

If an old lover (the shadow) came around now, would they believe you when you said you were through or would they still think they had a chance because they noted in your voice and body language that you hadn’t fully committed to a new way without them? You weren’t totally standing up for yourself. You gave them a glimmer of hope because they could tell you still doubted yourself and your decision so they stuck around. They kept planting more seeds of doubt in you, convincing you of their ways and beliefs so that you fall again.

 

So, you must ask yourself again – do you believe you? Are you convinced that you are not going back to them and your old ways, no matter how familiar and comfortable it is? Are you really done this time? Have you ripped out every last claw so that there is zero emotional charge when they come around? So much so it’s like oil trying to stick to water and no matter what they say or do or how hard they try, it doesn’t stick. There is nothing there. Nothing. They finally see the futility of their efforts and leave. They see you are solid, you stand for your truth and there is no room for them anywhere at all in any crevice of your life.

 

At first, you notice the gap in the space they used to take up, like an old memory of who you used to be but now it holds no weight. No emotional charge. The old story and memory fade. The gap closes. You become stronger. Things that used to trigger you now bounce right off you as if you are made of  Teflon.

 

Now you know who you are and nothing can get in the way or prevent you from living the fullest expression of your divine soul living through you as you.

This is true freedom. Absolute liberation. You are not at the whim of society, circumstances, or other people’s opinions or perceptions of you. Your internal state comes from you and you uphold the highest standards for what that looks and feels like. As such, your energy rises and you become a perfect match for all you desire. You hold unwavering self-belief, impeccable truth, and radical trust.

 

No matter what comes or doesn’t come your way, you hold yourself in high regard and honor your soul. You are unshakeable, unstoppable, and unoffendable.

 

Welcome home.

Addicted to Self-Help? It’s Time to Disrupt that Cycle.

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I have to admit that I, too, was a total self-help addict. As with most things in life, more is not necessarily better, especially when it comes to self-help. I share my story below in hopes that you see parts of yourself in it, know that you’re not alone and that it is all actually perfect.

The Self-Help Obsession/Addiction

I was sure I was broken and nothing and nobody could fix me. Yet, I sought out solutions from everyone and from everywhere. What? Oh boy. A sure recipe for remaining stuck.

It started in high school when I developed an eating disorder. It was my first foray into the self-help world. I knew something was off with me and I was determined to find the solution. I devoured self-help books the same way I did food, hoping to make some sense of my deep hatred for my body and myself. I went on antidepressants briefly, attended group and individual therapy, journaled, excavated old wounds.

The funny thing is that what eventually healed me was the exact thing I was avoiding and the exact thing I didn’t want to do. I was avoiding myself and being with myself and all my emotional states. The second part was acceptance. I was convinced I had to beat myself into submission in order to improve and that was the complete opposite of acceptance. Acceptance was counter to everything I believed about healing. Yet acceptance was and is the only way.

You have to break the obsession with the problem which means you don’t actually have a problem – that you are ok exactly as you are – and commit to loving, honoring, and accepting yourself completely. That is where healing begins – disrupting the lie that there is something wrong with you.

Given my proclivity to spiral into disordered thinking, I eventually replaced body issues with men/relationship issues and then with business/career issues.

I went off the deep end – consuming multiple self-help books at a time. I was once again proving to myself that something was fundamentally wrong with me, I needed fixing, and surely someone outside of me had the answer and surely I didn’t.

It screwed me up. I was always working on myself. It was exhausting.

It started to destroy my relationship with myself and with my boyfriend as I became as critical of him as I was of me.

This was a big wake-up call for me. I had to pull my head high enough above the monstrous stack of books to look around my life and see that despite all the exhaustive work I had been doing, I kept creating more problems that required solutions instead of seeing where my life and myself had improved. I never gave myself a break, a moment of acceptance and appreciation for who I was right then and acknowledgment of how much I had changed over the years. I couldn’t see it because I was so focused on the next thing – the next problem, issue, or challenge I needed to address.

No celebration of a milestone or growth – only onward, keep going, keep improving, don’t stop – and better make sure everyone around you is too.

I had to make it stop before it made me crazy with depression which is where this inevitably leads because all you can see is continuous work on yourself with no end in sight, which sends you into despair. And this is exactly what was creeping around – apathy, boredom, criticism, frustration. I had been down this road before and it didn’t go well.

I knew I had to do something different – I had to stop this cycle of addiction and insanity. I had to let go, release my hold, step back, and accept. Be in the moment. Let go of any outcome and do what I felt called to do in that moment without judgment or attack or second-guessing and instead, love, accept, and appreciate it. I had to return to the place of play, joy, and pleasure – not as a goal – but as a lifestyle, as a way of being, as the true me.

Once you realize and acknowledge that everything is perfect just as it is, no matter what it looks like, you allow it to shift and change. It doesn’t change when you hate it, abuse it, or criticize it. This is readily apparent in childhood yet we lose sight of this as we grow up.

Your energy system picks up on what you are putting into it – love or fear – and responds accordingly. When you are in problem mode, you are putting out the energy of doubt and distrust and thus you create more problems.

When you are in creative solution mode, you are putting out the energy of faith and thus you create endless possibilities.

The trick is you have to BELIEVE in the solution, you have to TRUST that everything is indeed working out for you BEFORE you will see the solution or the change you desire. This is critical. You cannot create something that you don’t believe.  You must believe beyond a shadow of a doubt that what you desire is already yours and live from that place – the place of love, trust, faith, and unwavering belief.

And, when you are struggling to believe, this is where a powerful mentor comes in – you get to borrow their belief while you build yours. They believe in what you desire to create and know it is already yours and as you work in that container of belief, your own trust in yourself grows.

If you are struggling with self-doubt and are tired of being stuck wanting more but not getting it, I am currently accepting two people into my 90-day mentorship program. Borrow my belief in you while we work together to bring you into alignment with your heart’s calling, your soul genius, and your true, authentic self.

Simply contact me and we’ll set up a call.

 

Believing in you,

Kori

Disconnection with your soul is the root of all addiction

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At the core of distraction is an unwillingness to be with yourself, a deep desire to check out because the discomfort of being with yourself, undistracted, present, and aware is too much – it terrifies you, though you would deny that.

You know yourself, you say, you’re fine, you just like to have a few drinks or watch a few shows on Netflix or scroll Instagram.

The problem is it isn’t just a few and this distraction becomes your default operating system. Instead of pausing to check in with yourself, connect with your soul, use the silence to allow yourself to listen to your intuition, you reach for something outside of you; it becomes automatic, unconscious.

So you go through your days, numbing yourself ever so slightly, enough to loosen your hold on your dreams, enough to shake your ability to take 100% responsibility for your life and your decisions.

As you numb yourself, you numb your desires. You fear you can’t really have what you truly want. You fear disappointment so you inadvertently create a life of perpetual disappointment.

What you ultimately fear is being you – you fear that it’s not enough, that you’re not good enough to live the life you dream of.

Yet you also fear realizing your dreams – what will that require of you? You don’t know if you’re up for it, best just to watch another episode, have another drink and think about it. And your dreams slowly fade away, your discontent grows so your distractions increase and so the cycle goes.

All of this demonstrates a deep disconnection with your soul, your truth, your true you. At your core, you know the truth – you’ve just kept it buried under lies and illusions.

That truth is that you are worthy and valuable just as you are without having to do or be anything to prove it or earn it. At your core, you know exactly what you want and you know when you connect with your true desires, nothing will stop your from getting them.

You have to ask yourself, are you willing to do whatever it takes, no matter what?

Are you willing to be uncomfortable, face your fears, release your distractions and listen, honor, and act on your soul’s guidance? No matter what?

What is it you want your legacy to be? That you got by? Or that you took risks, you went after your dreams, and you truly lived in your fullest expression inspiring others to do the same?

It’s always a choice. In every moment. What will you choose?

Your Dreams Chose You. It’s Time to Claim Them.

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Something feels off – there is a gnawing in your soul, a craving for something more. Yet, despite this longing, there is something inside that keeps holding you back. You default to playing small and limiting your success – not only in your career but also with your health and in your relationships. The litany of self-criticism that is the ticker tape of your mind ensures compliance with discontent bordering on despair.

 

Maybe this is it, you think. It’s not that bad, you say to console yourself. However, this feeling that something is missing, that you are not living your truly desired life won’t go away.

 

This old programming will continue to keep you in this place of playing small, sabotaging your success, and limiting your experience of satisfaction, happiness, and significance. The only way out is through. You must topple these old paradigms and unhook yourself from the lies that limit you. It’s a precise surgery of the mind, heart, and soul to remove these toxic tumors. When you do this, you free yourself from the chains of self-oppression, mental slavery, and self-loathing. You see with new eyes. You operate at a completely new level which makes all that you desire and beyond available to you.

 

You become deeply connected to yourself and your soul, you always know exactly what to do, you always have the exact right words, and your trust yourself completely. This is a radical shift from where you were.

 

You started a revolution within. You stood up for what you wanted and claimed it as yours. You became the fullest, highest, most authentic and unapologetic version of you. You have never felt so free, so grounded, so passionate, and so on fire for yourself, your work, and your life. This is when everything changes. Everything. Your finances. Your love life. Your health. Your career. Your relationships. Why? Because it all comes back to you. It always begins within. Always.

 

Can you even begin to imagine just how powerful you truly are? Imagine how different your life will look when you deeply and completely love, honor, accept, and respect yourself. Imagine that feeling of unwavering belief and trust in yourself and what that makes available to you. What will your life be like when you embody unshakeable confidence and courage as you go after what you want with gusto, knowing you will do whatever it takes to live in true alignment with your soul and your highest truth?

 

Divine. Powerful. Pleasurable. Playful. Limitless.

 

Are you ready?

I invite you to reach out to me to chat. 

 

To the true you,

 

Kori