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I wanted to KNOW I was on the right path. I wanted a SIGN that this was IT. I wanted PROOF.
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I looked for signs in the number of followers on my social media channels and email list and used the lower numbers as a reason to feel bad about myself.
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When the path became more challenging, I started to question myself and my path.
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I held a belief that once I was on my path, it was meant to be easy and doors would open and all would be well.
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When that didn’t happen, I beat myself up even more. 😳
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I was placing my sense of self and state of being outside of me – like I was some sort of victim to a cruel fate destined for disappointment and failure.
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I didn’t see that I had disconnected from myself, my purpose, my deeper calling and desire. #ohthedrama
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I was still waiting for external evidence to tell me I was ok, I was on the right path.
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Intellectually I knew that came from within but on an emotional level, I was living in an alternate reality where I cultivated negative beliefs and feelings. #notfun
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I head to go deeper into healing and forgiveness – it isn’t solely an intellectual endeavor.
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Then I had to take action with faith and trust even in the face of no evidence.
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I created a joy experiment for six weeks (I called it Joy 45) where I intentionally engaged in activities each day that brought me joy. I danced, skipped in the park, did cartwheels, baked, wrote, and kept showing up in my business with a spirit and energy of service, exploration, and experimentation.
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NOT focusing on increasing my following or growing my list.
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I was led to share a video in a group about releasing shame. This led to a woman reaching out to me and enrolling in a $4000 90 day program I had just created. 🌟
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It’s funny, isn’t it. I thought it HAD to come from doing all the logical things, taking all the right steps, and following a set path.
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The universe wants to provide for you and when you put restrictions on HOW, you stop the creative flow. When you let go, trust, and go along your merry way, happy, knowing it is taken care of, the universe delivers. 💎
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I didn’t create the joy experiment in order to create clients. I created it to change my energy, to put myself into a positive state independent of external factors and yet, that ended up creating clients.
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It’s grand, isn’t it? 👑
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It showed me how much I want to control everything and how that stops my desires from coming in naturally. When I enter into a space of trust, faith, and love, my desires come to me in wonderful ways – in much better ways than my controlling and forcing ever could.
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How will you cultivate more trust today and allow yourself to play with the joy of your desire fulfilled?