I pursued high academic and athletic achievements to show how great I was. Yet, I didn’t often feel great.
I was caught in a cycle of always striving without even pausing to celebrate what I had achieved.
This intensified when I started my own business. There are many coaches out there and it was hard not to compare myself to others who were having greater success than me.
It didn’t help. It only made me feel worse.
Being on the hamster wheel of negative comparison kept me feeling angry, discouraged, and prevented me from progressing as quickly as I wanted.
When you’re resentful, you repel what it is you want.
I had to root out the old unhelpful beliefs that had been driving the show and learn a new way of being.
I had to let go of the idea that what was missing was simply a strategy or blueprint that everyone else besides me had figured out.
It felt scary.
I so wanted my head to figure it all out for me but my head is what had led me to the countless, unhelpful strategies in the first place.
I dove deep into my heart to do forgiveness work around my past and my path. It wasn’t pretty or easy but it was much less painful than continuing to struggle.
Little by little, I shed those old parts of me – the ugly parts – the envy, the anger, the greed, the criticism, the shame, the negative self-comparison, the pride.
What took their place was a deepening into trust, a cultivation of confidence through faith, sharing from the heart, owning my desires and releasing judgment of them, a greater vulnerability which gave me more strength and courage, opening to purpose through a stronger connection to God, releasing the tight grip on MY way and HOW I thought (head) it “should” be, and growing my faith and conviction.
The difference in me is night and day and now I see all the struggles I went through were fortifying me and shaping me into the woman I was designed to be: a woman of courage, conviction, and faith living by heart.
And, this inspired me to create an opportunity for you to walk this path with me. See comments for more.