The Subtleties of Coaching
I hired one of my first coaches because I wanted help deciding on a career change. I was unhappy in my current job and wasn’t sure what I really wanted to do next. Out of that coaching relationship. I uncovered my buried desire to live and work abroad. I had taken it off the table since I was now a homeowner and dog mom, however the desire didn’t go away. This coach helped me see that this dream was still possible for me. Once i gave myself permission to explore the idea, things began to fall into place. The mom of a good friend of mine wanted to move to Denver temporarily to see if it was a good fit and didn’t want to move all her things with her. She ended up renting my home, furnished. My sister graciously agreed to care for my dog. I got offered a great job with decent pay in Villahermosa, Mexico. I quit my current job and began a three-year adventure living, traveling, and working in Mexico and Central America.
I didn’t go to her asking her to help me figure out a way to move to Mexico. Through our work together, I was able to see that was my next desired step
Having coached a staff of twelve as well as providing professional development training to community members for years, I felt coaching was the right path for me. I pursued my coaching certification while I was living and working in San Jose, Costa Rica. I then worked with a coach from my training program with the goal of getting support to get my business running.
Over the course of working with him, I dug deeper into the struggles I had had in relationships both with myself and with men. This is not what I came to him for but as I ventured out as an entrepreneur, all the skeletons started jumping out of the closet.
Full disclosure here that I resisted this. I wanted the linear path – tell me what to do to grow my business and that’s it. A bit naive, perhaps, but I know I am not the only one that thought it could be that simple.
I invested in support through 12 step groups, writing, and dance. It was through his recommendation/requirement to dance every day for 21 days to bring joy back into my life that led me to take burlesque classes, which represented a huge milestone for me as I had battled with eating disorders and body shame for years.
This led to increased confidence and a healthier sense of self. None of which I had sought out when I hired him.
Because of my journey to learn to love my body and myself brought on by my work with this coach, I enrolled in an eight-week Learning to Love our Bodies writing workshop that my sister had discovered. The teacher for this course offered a different training six months later. At that workshop, I shared a little about myself but not much. At the end of the training, one of the other participants asked me for a business card, which I didn’t have. I got her information, contacted her, and she became a client. This was nowhere on my mind when I registered for the training.
A little while later, I posted a picture of me from one of my burlesque performances stating that this is our one chance to live the life we have dreamed of. From that post and a subsequent FB live I did, I enrolled another client.
All of this came out of following a windy road which, to me at the time, didn’t have a clear connection to growing my business.
Sometimes it is easy to get stuck on wanting the clear tangible result that comes from a specific direct path. That isn’t the way it works.
You will get there but what needs healing will surface along the way, and while it may feel unrelated, it is exactly what will set you free and bring you exactly what you want.
It is a matter of letting go of your attachment to how it is supposed to look and TRUSTING in the process, no matter how confusing it may seem or how hard it is to see the end result. This is where the attitude of doing whatever it takes, no matter what comes in. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes, no matter how crazy it may seem, how uncomfortable, or how tangential. There is a grand design way bigger than what you could possibly imagine and it is leading you on the path that you, and only, must take in order for you to have the deepest healing and the grandest success imaginable.
If you’re ready to truly start the journey to your deepest desires, let’s talk.