I talk about mindset a lot. Why? Honestly? Because it is hard for me. I grew up with a bit of a pessimistic bent. Although I was a generally positive person, I was great at making myself feel awful – not smart enough, not thin enough, not fit enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough. The crazy thing about what we tell ourselves is that we start to believe it and even worse, we look for evidence that it’s true. The ol’ self-fulfilling prophecy.
I started studying psychology in my teens as I sought to heal myself from an eating disorder. This was my first big realization of the power of our thoughts. It took me a long time to build myself back up and trust myself after so many years of abuse. I kept at it because I knew there had to be a better way than being a prisoner to my self-defeating thoughts.
The next big realization occurred around relationships. I was still carrying around doubts about my self-worth, which led to a series of bad relationships. It took work to learn to love and honor myself and expect the same from a partner.
I have come a long way in both my health and my relationships but these pesky negative thoughts still toy with me. These days, the attacks come around the success of my business. Sometimes they say things like, “Who do you think you are that you can run your own successful coaching business?” Of course the answer is, “Who am I not to?”
Recognizing the power of our thoughts for both the good and the bad is eye opening. It behooves me to guard my thoughts and to engage in practices that augment my thought life. I can’t leave my mind to its own devices – Lord knows where I’d end up, but it wouldn’t be pretty.
It’s not easy, though it is simple. For me, I believe I must do double-duty since I have such a long history of negative thinking. This means I have to engage in some form of mindset practice daily. What does that look like?
When I wake up in the morning, I consciously choose to think about all I am grateful for, how I want my day to go, and how I want to show up that day. After I work out, I spend 6-15 minutes in meditation – consciously repeating thoughts that support me. (Check out this meditation and this one, too!.) Before I go to bed, I write down what I am grateful for that day (what went well that day) and what I am grateful for that is on its way. I also believe in the power of writing to heal so my goal is to spend some time writing each day. And this is maintenance mode. When I am stretching myself in my business, I have to do even more so that I don’t take myself out with self-sabotage. (I know it seems like a lot but it really doesn’t require that much time.)
I wish my default thought patterns were those of my inevitable success but until then, I will keep practicing. Why? I feel better when I think positive thoughts. I engage in conversations and in relationships from a place of wholeness, curiosity, and generosity. I take on new projects with interest and excitement about how they’ll turn out. I would much rather go through life like this vs. being the doom and gloom, the world is going to the toilet, everything is awful, might as well give up person.
My mission in life is to help others create systems and structures that support their ultimate success – the best way for me to do that is to live that. It starts with your thoughts and with mastering your mindset. If I can do this, so can you.
Tell yourself right now, “I am powerful and I have a choice in all I do, in what I believe, and in who I am, therefore I choose to remind myself, as often as possible, how incredible I am.”
Believing in you,
Kori
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